Day 12 - I suck!!!

Well I think I can say in all certainty that I FAIL miserably. I have no idea what has happened this week. It's currently 11pm on Tuesday night and I have don NO exercise at all this week, none, zero, zip, nada!!! I have however eaten like a starving horse.

Part of me knows why, because I don't like to exercise in front of people and because the person I live with has been avoiding work, he's been around a LOT so that's definitely made me feel self conscious about doing it. There really is no reason at all. That's a bullsh*t excuse but I don't have any other.
Yesterday I did help my older neighbour paint her fence which did cause a minor sweat but really, I've done very little other than my usual activities, housework, dog exercise etc. All the usual things that people do on a daily basis and get fat anyway!

Tomorrow though, I will be back on track! I WILL heave my fat arse off the sofa and do my dvd - I can almost hear Jillian in the back of my head threatening to break me in half.... ooh sidebar... how the bloody hell would she do that anyway?? I don't even think she could do that and I have no doubt if she wanted to she could probably break an arm. Part of me would like to meet her and see if that's possible although I probably wouldn't risk it, just in case.
Once I've done my dvd, I will go and cycle too and crack out the wii game as well. I've been eating like a pig and although most of it isn't exactly bad for me, there's been far too much bread involved. If I've put back on those lbs I lost last week I will go insane and then I'll overdo it and hurt myself.

Anyway, will write again tomorrow and tell you how dead I am. lol.

Day 8 (I think) - Weigh in

Oooh woo and hoo and a side order of hurrah!!

Lots of good news today! Being friday means its progress check day! So I got up and got on the scales. I've lost weight! Yay! I've also lost my will to live but that just means it's friday!
Also, my wii game arrived today so I did the arm exercises on that too to try and build up my upper body strength so I don't keep falling down.
Dvd is getting easier, but I've discovered that if I have a day off, it really hurts the next day so I might stop having days off.

The food issue is still an issue. I'm not getting it right, I'm sure of that but I've been watching the calories and trying not to have too many. My friend Donna has said she's going to sort me out a diet sheet and then tell me off for not eating properly so that should help.

Feeling really itchy when I'm not exercising so I think thats a good sign, that I want to be doing it.
The game I got is mean! The sound isn't great but even though you can hardly hear her, Jillian is MEAN in it. I prefer the dvd where at least she's nicer while inflicting pain.

I didn't take a picture today but may do so next week.


Particulars for the beginning:
Weight: 11 stone 10lbs
What I want to lose: Approx 20lbs maybe more but at least 20.
What I have lost: 4lbs*
Opinion on dvd: Hard and painful but gets easier when you know what you're doing.
Residual Pain/ache: not a huge amount, feel sore but no pain, just minor aching
Places to work on to help: arms!!!!

* the wii claims I weigh 11.8 and I want to use that as the mark so that I can say I lost 6lbs but I'd only be cheating myself so the bathroom scales will be the marker.

Day 6 - I've no idea!

Well I've not been here as I've not really had a lot to say!

Yesterday I had a rest so today I had no choice but to punish myself.
On Monday, I discovered I'd been doing some of the exercises wrong, and I learnt this by doing them right accidentally. So I did lots of extras to make up for it. Because of that, I'm not convinced I'm doing any of it right. I think I might have hit the proverbial wall. Not being sure I'm doing it right makes me wonder what the point is.

Good news is, I'm not giving up. Today, I did some cycling on my static bike too and yes, I managed to fall off of it. I'm sooooo clumsy, I honestly don't know how it is that I manage to get around at all. Not be deterred, I've also ordered Jillian's Ultimate Fitness 2010 for the wii since I tend to have better luck and better results on the wii games.

Diet wise; I'll put it this way, now I know why rabbits look so depressed all the time. Salads are so boring. I think I'm taking in about 900-1000 calories a day but I have no idea if that's the right amount.

On a plus note, now that I'm doing a lot of the exercises right, or at least I think I am, my obliques are sore but also hard! My mate poked me in the side tonight and agreed, its less wobbly than before. I can only assume that is a good thing. I will jump on the scales again on Friday and do some more pictures to see.
Hopefully my wii game will also be here by then so I can really work hard.

I also learnt a few new things. In the dvd, at one point, one of the girls working out/demonstrating the exercises with Jillian nearly hits her with a weight, she claims she's trying to kill her. I didn't notice this before, partially due to my screaming abuse at the tv and partially due to the pounding of blood in my ears. I noticed this on Monday and laughed. Lemme tell you, laughing while doing ab exercises actually does hurt. I think that's a bit much for that particular muscle group to handle.
My brother came in today when I was 'cooling down' and mentioned that he hadn't been to the gym and said he'd do this dvd instead while implying that if I could do it, it can't be that hard. Then he actually looked at the screen and saw who it was. "That's her from Biggest Loser." he said, looking at me incredulously. "She's crazy!" He then left the room, suddenly not so eager to do my 'little dvd'. I felt pretty good about that, my brother; ex army with 2 tours of Iraq under his belt and a Ireland fire fighter during the strikes, won't take on a Jillian Michaels dvd! I did have to laugh and I suddenly felt great about having the balls to do it. See, she doesn't scare me...... much. lol.

Day 3 - Had a rest.... kinda.

Ok, so it's official! I think I'm converting to being fitter. All day I've been thinking about doing my exercising but since I couldn't walk very well last night; by 'very well', read 'at all'. I decided that I would be smart and not do it today!
Instead, I spoke to my friend Donna who is good at this since she teaches martial arts and is actually a personal trainer, albeit a nice, non-possessed by the devil type one, about doing something about my arms. She gave me some great advice so instead of killing my legs and abs today, I decided to dig out my dumbbells and instructions and do some arm punishments.

After I'd done a whole bunch of punch outs (yes, thats exactly what you think they are!) I pulled out my weight bench and did some curling -bicep, not eyelash or the one on ice. And then, just because I could, I dropped the bench down and did some inclined sit ups.... 50 in total!! They hurt.
Weird thing is, if I'm on a level surface, I can't do a sit up well at all. On an incline, I can do loads. I have no idea what thats about but its something I always have been able to do. I did consider doing some static cycling but reminded myself that my poor hamstrings need a break so didn't.

My dinner was well, I have no idea. 409 calories plus a bunch of veg and about 10cals worth of gravy! Had an apple and some flapjack (oats, not what Americans call flapjack) I dunno if I'm not eating enough but I wasn't really hungry.

Anyway, back to the pain tomorrow so I'm off. Wish me luck, it's going to be a very long week. Next day off..... Wednesday!

Strangely looking forward to the work out.... I'm a worry to myself.

Day 2 - Level 1

Ok, well I wasn't going to write a post today. I'd planned to take today off due to lack of sleep and soreness but as I was sat here, minding my own business, I couldn't help but think I should be doing my exercises. I fought this feeling all day because well, they say if it hurts, don't do it, and believe me, my thighs hurt from the squats and lunges etc and my belly hurt under the wobbly bits. In the end, I relented and did it and I have to say, despite my thighs screaming in agony. It went pretty well.

Now that I've seen it already, I was more prepared for the quick changes between exercises and they didn't catch me out. I did however cheat just a lil bit. Since my weedy lil arms, more specifically my elbow flaked out on me yesterday, I've been very careful with the planking and have altered it slightly so I can still do it.
Second time around, it was a teeny bit easier but what surprised me most was the feeling that I had to, absolutely had to work out. Nothing I could do would make it go away!

So yeah, didn't seem as long or as painful today to do and really enjoyed it. I didn't even make harsh remarks, wel ok, a couple. Is it possible that I'm actually being converted?? I guess we'll have to wait and see if I get past the first week.

I think I'm warming to Jillian too! Ended up watching Biggest Loser Australia since it was the only thing on and was filled with an overwhelming urge to give her a big hug. I think thats a definite improvement to wanting to run away and hide behind the sofa!

I would like to state that in no way, shape or form am I a weird arse stalker. As a general rule smart people, and I like to think I am, don't stalk anyone that could probably kill them! Besides, it's too far and too hot to go all that way to get my arse kicked.

3rd June - Day One, Level One

Ok, so my dvd arrived today! My first surprise was that I'd deleted Ripped in 30 from my online shopping basket and had 6 Week 6 pack instead! Oh well, exercise is exercise. I figure if I eat right as well, I should be ok since most of the meat is in the middle anyway. Hell, what do I know??

So once everyone else has gone out, I decide to crack open my dvd and give it a whirl.



At this point, I should probably say that my exercise in the past 10 years has consisted of some gardening, dog walking and decorating and given my disability, I can't get to a gym or anywhere else useful to the task of losing weight. I like junk food and I don't like exercising.... like a lot of folks I assume.

Anyway, I make sure the dog is tired out and out of my way since she'd help and I'm pretty sure the dvd doesn't call for a mad staffy leaping on your terrified abs half way through your abusing them and I then spend 5 minutes trying to get in the plastic wrapper.


I guess that was the warm up!


Then I decide that the smart thing would be to document my abs transformation in picture form so I took some pictures which I'll scare you with right now. I apologise.

All relaxed and flabby:

With suitable attire on and the animals out the way, I press play and am greeted with Jillian - who I have decided by this time isn't exactly an eye sore but is still probably the devil who tells me I need a hand weight between 3 and 8lbs and we should do this work out 5 times a week. *EEEEK*

Hmm..... a hand weight! I have those! They're all marked up in kilos. More bloody maths. Off I go looking for a converter and in the end decide that I know how many pounds are in a stone so I will weight myself without the weight, then weight myself with it! First attempt lands me with 10lbs... a tad much since I'm not looking to kill myself on day one. I manage to get it down to 6lbs which I think is reasonable.

While I'm stood on the scales, I realise that I've actually lost a pound in the 4 days since I ordered the dvd! Yay! Fear is an excellent motivator.

No more time to put it off, I gotta do this work out now. Turns out we have to do level 1 for 3 weeks then level 2 for the other 3 weeks, and you don't need the weight 'til level 2. Typical! Anyway, the exercise comes with a warm up and cool down so I figure, she's not going to let me kill myself, right?? RIGHT???

Holy Murray Mother of Gay!!

The warm up is some stretchiness and cardio intended to get your heart going. I get slightly distracted by a tattoo on her leg that I didn't realise she had and give up exercising while I try and work out what it is. This fails and I start the disc again.

Right, head down, get on with not being fat!

Cardio does what it says on the tin, it gets your heart going and warms you up. It was about 82degrees here today and I'd already spent about a half hour playing football with the dog so I was already pretty warm when I started. 'This is easy' thinks me, as we jump around warming up, ;I can do this, no problems.' By the time the warm up was over, I had a head like a beetroot and was pretty warm and sweaty! Clearly, I'm in worse shape than I'd anticipated.

Gotta say, there's a reason I chose Jillian and I was right. You wouldn't get this with Davina! About halfway through and we're being planks. It's at this point that my left elbow decides that I'm a crappy plank and gives out on me. My living room floor is concrete (under the carpet) which doesn't make for a happy landing for your face. Jillian is happily telling me that she's making me stronger and I mumble something about being strong enough to beat her to death when I'm done, as I return to my plank position and nearly knee myself in the face. She then pulls out a highly diluted 'Biggest Loser, possessed Jillian' and tortures one of the women who are showing us the beginner and advanced stages of the work out.

A few of the positions are HARD, especially if you have a bad back and dodgy elbows; and I try really hard but you don't get a lot of time to switch and see what you're doing and there's certainly no room to be grabbing the control and rewinding, not that anyone in their right mind would want to! So I struggle along with my sore nose and complaining elbow and am delighted to find that she's thrown in something for the inner thighs too! Sadly its nothing I'd want giving my inner thighs a work out!
Anyway, I do ok for my first time and, sweating like a glass blowers arse, I glance at the dvd player which tells me I've been being tortured for 18 minutes. Now in the real world, 18 minutes isn't that long. In the world of me, where I've invited possessed trainers who are hellbent on killing me, into my living room; 18 minutes is a LONG time. Its at this point, when I'm hoping she's gonna say, now stretch out and go and have an ice cream that she says something that makes my heart almost pack up its valves and move out. We're gonna ramp it up!! We are??
Tell ya what love, you ramp it up, I'm going back to bed!

Like a good girl, I ramp it up, and do pretty much the last 15 minutes or so all over again in about 6 minutes. My body is trying to work out what it's done to deserve this, my heart is pounding like a jackhammer and I want to die. Why did I do this to myself? I decide that it must be Jillian's fault entirely and I call her some unpleasant things. Demonic being one of them.

I'm thrilled to see that she is a tad breathless too, maybe faked to make us fatties feel less pathetic but who knows. She then says; ok, lets cool down - or words to that general effect and for the first time since I put this dvd I feel a warm fuzzy for this woman. She's letting me off the hook! I'm free to go and crawl under a rock and die. As we're cooling down, I start trying to oggle her leg and work out what the hell that tattoo is... I still can't, so if anyone knows, please comment and tell me so that I can concentrate next time.

Anyway, now that we're all cooled down, I'm free to leave and shower. Which is a bloody good thing since I didn't hoover first so I'm now all sweaty and covered in cat hair! As I get into the shower, I realise that I actually hurt! My obliques don't seem to have suffered too harshly, either that or I don't have any. My legs however have fallen firmly on the side of hating Jillian and complain all the way! I feel much better for having a shower and continue with my day, apparently full of energy! I'm not, I'm full of a mix of clarity that I just worked out with a minor demon and excitement. I actually feel good and so I tweet about it, saying just that.

About an hour after I finished my workout, I am suddenly bursting with energy, I find myself hopping around on the spot and raring to go. Is this the energy I was promised?? She never told me it was in a time release capsule. I make the most of it and play football with the dog some more before heading out to do some chores.

So there you go, that was day one of my torture. I plan to blog regularly on this in the vain attempt that it will keep me motivated to do it again and again! Also to monitor my own progress so that I, hopefully, will see my progress.
I have written my shopping list, which looks like something a rabbit would request on the shopping list but I will not be fat!!! I don't mind a lil bit of padding but there's no way I will be a blimp!

Particulars for the beginning:
Weight: 12 stone (168lbs)
What I want to lose: Approx 20lbs maybe more but at least 20.
What I have lost: N/A at this point.
Opinion on dvd: Hard and painful.
Residual Pain/ache: thighs, upper abs, arms, back but that almost always hurts.
Places to work on to help: arms!!!!

Decisions.

Ok, so let me tell you a little bit about why I'm writing this blog. Maybe it'll explain to me why I'm doing this too!

I was vegging out on the sofa the other night, flicking randomly through the tv channels and I stopped on a repeat of Biggest Loser USA. They were doing a weigh in and had lost a combined total of 155lbs. Now, being English, we work in stones and pounds so I had to do some maths.... it didn't go well. I thought, ooh thats gotta be at least me. And about a year ago, it was.
As I watched these rather large people do their challenges - and eat cupcakes - I thought, oooh cupcakes.

They then appeared in the gym and I realised why it is that I didn't watch this show on a more regular basis. Jillian Michaels. She is the devil incarnate. For a while I was convinced that she might just be possessed by some exercise obsessed minor demon. The more I watched, the more I started to think that she probably had some issues of her own but liked torturing people anyway.

When that show finished, another began; Losing It With Jillian. I thought; 'well yeah, I could see how you could lose it with her pretty easily.' It was while watching this that I changed my mind and realised she seems to be a pretty nice person and while in a gym situation, she may still be possessed, outside a gym, she seems pretty cool.
During the commercials, I decided to go and check if the folks on Biggest Loser had actually lose the equivalent of me. This was my first bad idea.

I got on my bathroom scales and almost had me a heart attack. I'm the heaviest I've ever been!! And I'm not pleased by this. I told myself that if I ever got over 12 stone (168lbs) that I would have my arse thoroughly beaten - and not in the good way!

Who better to beat your arse than the devil??

So I headed off to a well known online retailer and spent about 45 minutes trying to decide which dvd I need to buy. Having already decided that Jillian would be the one to torture me, on the grounds that her work outs seem tough but not too tricky, rather than any other celeb who seems to prance around in lycra while an actual professional tells you what to do, to the sounds of some electro 80s shite; I now had to work out which dvd I needed.

In the end, I thought Ripped in 30 and 6 week 6 pack would be good. After much debate with a friend, I decided that I would only do one and then if I actually followed through with that, I'd get the other.
So I sent in my order and then all I had to do was wait........